Look for me with the sun-bright sparrow

It's okay. This is for the best.

sunshine so sweet
kissed the words written down
on papered hands
so frail and full of meaning
ink spilled from a cup
overflowing with thoughts of everything you had

I spent nearly $165 on books at the beginning of this semester and when I went back to sell them what did I get back? Only $36.5o. That's completely horrible! Not to mention my biomolecular science book couldn't be traded in for cash at all because they came out with a new edition and the older one is now obsolete. Central is always screwing me over for cash. Damn.

In other news, I am now about to start studying until I puke.
If all goes as planned, I won't completely bomb these finals. Yay.
I'll be home Wednesday for the chorus concert and to go on a mini adventure with the boys.
Summer is only a few days away!

I'll give more of an update later, but for now...

Death Cab was okay, last time was way better of a show though. But let me just stress again that Amanda Palmer's ukele cover of "Creep" was amazing, just as Ingrid Michaelson's was a few weeks ago.

I'd like to take this time to say that I'm glad I still have a mother to give a gift to on this holiday. I'm sorry Chris doesn't and it made me sad to think about. Thinking of today must make this past year hurt even more, his first Mother's Day with no one to give a present to. It's so sad to think about.

I have one class tomorrow morning, and sadly enough a History quiz to go with it. But once 1o:5o rolls around I am free as a bird until finals next week start up. I'll be studying like crazy on Monday, then taking three tests Tuesday, one on Wednesday and then packing up and heading home!

As for the next few days-

Tomorrow will be some much needed hang out time with two of my best, Brenton and Michael. We haven't had our special group of three time in quite a while, about a month or so which is insane. I can't believe I lasted that long! We'll shop for provisions, possibly eat some lunch together, then head back to Saybrook and watch movies or something :] Then I'll see my lovely, Colin!

Thursday will hopefully be taken up by a trip with the three of us to my childhood areas of play. All of which will include breakfast at The Whistle Stop, strolls by the water, music at Looney Tunes, Watch Hill and ice cream by the carousel and if we're lucky, some time around Stonington and Mystic as well :]

Friday will be dedicated solely to sleeping in and then driving up with Colin to meet Aaron in Providence for Amanda Palmer and Death Cab! Wooooo!

Saturday holds something amazing that I have yet to know about (someone fill in this blank).

And work on Sunday before the trek back to school and major studying.

Much love always to my lovers and my friends! ♥ Lauren

The lovely Kate Gallagher called my not but 2o minutes ago claiming to be on Central campus. I got excited and asked where she was and the response was "right behind you", but seeing as how there was a solid wall behind me I knew this was a lie. When I told her she'd changed her looks to a quite concrete facade, she said that she was indeed mistaken and was to my left by the bookcase. But because I was at the mail office, to my left was just a row of lockers. This is when I got depressed and realized just how bored she must be, haha.

Turns out she was nowhere near Central but she just wanted to be. For a minute there I thought there was some wacky school trip I wasn't aware of and that she would be visiting! But alas, she was home in snug Old Saybrook just driving and passing the time. However, she said she would "meet up with me later" so I'll see her soon enough, just not here. Oh, what a tease! I was so caught up in thinking I would be seeing my beautiful ninja unicorn lady! Aww hugs from blond little Kates are some of the best ever =]

Don't know why I'm making a post right now
I'm tired, way tired
I stumbled out on Brenton in a very strange manner
After scribbling strange symbols, etc. on his dry erase board
Something was wearing a sumbrero (sp?)
Anyway
I like when Aaron comes to visit
I like Icrcream
and peanut butter
and oreo
and cofee
and how I keep misplacing the space bar and typing "i" and then deleting it
wow, I have no idea what I'm saying

umm, Michael Brown. if you're reading this, I miss you buddy.
you've been MIA (and no, I dont mean the british singer) I mean Missing In Action.
you. yes, you.
We need more moonsand

and Brenton is fun to throw wristbands at, with smacking noises
.

yes.
bed
good

The show was just so much fun. It wasn't one of those really upbeat, jumping around kid of shows at all which was a change. But a sort of nice change, too. Ingrid was a character, making jokes and laughing it up with her bandmates and the rest of the crowd. She commented on how her friends new scarf and how it made her look like she had silver pubes hanging from underneath her guitar and the proceeded to wear it around between her legs and underpits. She talked about how much the barricade sucked and how hippies smoke too much weed and wear their Birkenstocks entirely too much. She brought out her ukelele and played a cover of Radiohead's "Creep" and did some renditions of late 80s early 90s love songs and dirty pleasures. It was fun, Lauren Martin and I were very pleased indeed. She has an amazing voice, and I'm glad I heard it in person.

4/26 Ingrid Michaelson with Lauren Martin
5/3 Choir run-through at 11 AM, final/concert at 7:30 PM
5/8-5/9 Reading days. No classes. Home early for the weekend?
5/9 Death Cab and Amanda Palmer with Colin and Aaron
5/10 Colin's Prom Something even more amazing (and way less expensive) :]
5/12 Mucho studying.
5/13 Design Final 8 AM-10 AM/ Cells and the Human Body Final 11 AM-1PM
5/14 History Final
5/15 Sociology Final (possibly)
5/16 If all goes as planned, HOME FOR SUMMER.

[EDIT] Against Brenton's wishes, I still want to cut my hair. Just not sure how short... any ideas?

It's EARTH DAY!!!

There are a whole bunch of cool things going on around campus to save power and be kind to mother nature. I got a packet of wildflower seeds to sew wherever I please and they made lunch outside for everyone on huge grills. Brenton and I sat out in the sun and had hamburgers, veggies with dip and iced tea lemonade. The weather is just perfect for picnics nowadays and I absolutely love it!

The only thing that I found kind of silly about today is the fact that they wanted to cut down on waste, yet they still served us all our food on thick paper plates with plastic forks, knives, cups and styrofoam bowls. But in the cafeteria, they always use real cutlery and dishes, etc. and have even put up posters about getting rid of styrofoam all together and adding in ceramic mugs and other things to compensate. So why would they let us use all this harmful paper product when they could have just set up the normal stations with the plates and cups we already use? They had big things for dishes out next to the doors anyway, so it wouldn't have really been a problem.

But really, (and I know Beecher will have to comment on this) if they were trying to be so environmentally friendly why didn't they at least give us the Solo Company cups and everything that are made from bio-degradable corn silk? They're only a few cents more than the regular plastic utensils! And to take it a step further, why pass out all those mini-bags of chips instead of just a huge bowl with serving tongs like they usually do? So much unneeded garbage...

I'm gonna have to go outside and hug my favorite tree to make up for this.

The parents decided to take my little brother and sister down to Florida to go to Disney for the week, so I stayed at Colin's over the weekend between work. Sleepovers with my lovely are always the best <3
Yesterday, Aaron was here from Boston so Colin and I picked he and Lauren Beecher up to hang out. We went to the health food store for dried papaya and maple kettle corn and then got iced Americanos and Carmel Macchiatos next door. I love that I never have to pay for coffee anymore, even when I'm off the clock. We talked to Megan and Alicia, Colin put way way to much sugar in his drink and Aaron proceeded to steal a pair of Bunny Ears from m co-workers.
Next, we drove over to Brenton's and played music in his driveway until he came outside. Then it was off on an adventure of driving, sing-a-longs and wide open parking lots followed by walking tracks on the Essex side of Bokum and filming old trains and being generally in love with one another, as true friends often are.
After an amazing time, we refueled, went our seperate ways after many hugs and Brenton and I came back to school.
We edited the day's footage last night until 2:30 in the morning but it was so worth it. I got to see the entire process from raw footage to trimming, adding in our audio tracks and color correcting. It looks so good. I'll need to ask Brenton to post it on Youtube or something so I can get it up here in a post.
Slept in Brenton's room last night with a Snuggies attached to my face, woke up to Keithan's annoying Jay-Z ringtone going off every 5 minutes. But it was nice to wake up and just not even care about where I was or the circumstances of the day.
Breakfast and then History Class this morning, surprisingly I didn't fall asleep even though I got just short of six hours sleep instead of eight or nine , so that's good.
It's such a beautiful day! The sun is shining the birds are chirping and I am generally ecstatic for Spring. I'm so happy!
Oh, and the trip to Lake Tahoe may still be on after all! Oh I hope hope hope we get a positive answer back from them. I want to start this summer season off as part of something big and being part of this charitable Leukemia/Lymphoma Bike Race would be the perfect thing. I'l learn a lot more about filming too through Brenton, I'm actually really interested in it now. Especially the designing of the actual video and the Avid part of it. Ohh, I'm just feeling that feeling.
Spring is here, Summer's on the way. It's fantastic, really. I can't wait.
This is Only The Beginning.

MONDAY

Freshman Comp. 9:00 am-9:50 am
Intro. to Art History 11:00 am-11:50 am
Fitness/Wellness Ventures 2:00 pm- 2:50 pm

TUEDAY

Survey of Math for Lib. Arts 9:30 am-10:45 am
Drawing I 2:00 pm-4:30 pm
Fundamentals of Graphic/Info. Design 6:00 pm-8:40 pm

WEDNESDAY

Freshman Comp. 9:00 am-9:50 am
Intro. to Art History 11:00 am-11:50 am
Fitness/Wellness Ventures 2:00 pm- 2:50 pm

THURSDAY

Survey of Math for Lib. Arts 9:30 am-10:45 am
Drawing I 2:00 pm-4:30 pm

FRIDAY

Freshman Comp. 9:00 am-9:50 am
Intro. to Art History 11:00 am-11:50 am

Today has just been so nice. I had Design this morning and all we did was watch a movie on Helvetica. It was actually pretty interesting and we got to leave early. I grabbed some coffee (Cinnamon White Mocha was the top pick) and studied for my Cells and the Human Body test. I took it and wasn't generaly confused about any of the questions, so I think my study sessions with Brenton truly do earn me A's, haha.

There are so many things going on today on campus.
The sun is out, everyone's walking around and laughing, laying out under the trees and listening to music.
They had a mock car crash for Alcohol Awareness Week, a Jail-N-Bail where you set out warrant of arrest for your friends and then have to pay money to the Special Olympics fundraiser to get them back out. Hilarious.
I was part of a group Art project with Brenton where we wrote down on a sketch tablet a message we would give to the church. Brenton's was "Belief is not Wrong, It is an Opinion" and mine was "Diversity, Acceptance and Unconditional Love are the True Ideals we ust Live by. Stop Judging." They art students took pictures of us holding up the boards and they'll put them up on a post-secretish kind of site until the big unveiling of the project on campus. And later on there's the Mr. CCSU competition that our British friend Ashley is competing in. There's a production of William Shakespeare's THE TEMPEST and the normal Student Center Thursday Night activities.

Right now I'm registering for classes and then going out on an adventure with Brenton in the sunshine! Class is at 5:15 and I'l be watching the rest of CRASH and then Colin will be here! YAY!!!

What a wonderful day :]

Ever notice how some people just need others to know certain things about them? Just to give them a certain impression of themselves?
They act out. Pretend to know everything. Talk loudly or yell to get their point across. Try to have things in common with everyone around them just so they can say "Oh, I love that!" or "I do that all the time!". Plus the fact that they act like they can always beat you at everything you do, no matter what.
I hate that. The worst thing someone could ever do in my eyes is to be one person and act like a totally different being when other people are around. It's like they ignore one side of them and open up another, shutting you out all together. And what's even more annoying is when absolutely everyone else loves them, so you feel completely alone in your opinion. I hate hate hate it. Needless to say, I am completely alone in my opinion.

I've tried to be better about it.
I've tried not to feel this way.
I know she means well, well at least I think so.
But seriously, I can't shake this.
I feel like her personality just clashes with mine so hard.
I feel muted when I'm around her now.
It's uncomfortable.
And now I'm not acting like myself because of it.

I have SO much work to do! Why am I procrastinating so much today?!

Sociology quiz in two hours
TOMORROW - Singing test, studying for Biology, writing essays
THURSDAY - Biology test, Sociology essay is due, need to signup for classes
FRIDAY- History quiz at 10 AM, then workkkkkkk

ewww.

Watch Everything Is Illuminated [again]
Perhaps buy a copy
Re-watch Wristcutters: A Love Story with Brenton
Perhaps buy a copy
Download the soundtracks to both movies
Religiously listen to "Through The Roof 'N Underground" and "Sunfowers"
Become amazingly huge Gogol Bordello fan
Rave rediculosly about Paul Cantelon Choir
Thank Lauren Beecher for all the downloads :]

Don't you just love it when great things all mesh together somehow?

so it's been a lovely day of sunshine
cucumber water
warm breezes
blanket snuggles
Sufjan Stevens
and almond hershey's.

I couldn't be happier :]

this is so horrible! who does that?

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/04/09/man-uses-hedgehog-as.html

it's remarkable, baffling even. why am I so worried she doesn't like me? I don't want her to be more interesting than me, more fun or exciting. I dont like this feeling, not at all. but I'm just being rediculous and silly. I know he would never let it happen. there's only room for one number one, right?

I want nothing more right now than to be out laying in the grass with the warm sun on my face...
but instead I'm stuck inside doing Biology homework and reading/writing an assignment for my design class :[
Soon. Soon I'll be out there bathing the day away in sunshine.